The Octopus Effect

 Do you remember the first time you saw a picture of a real octopus?  Throughout our childhood, we are exposed to the cutest artistic renderings of octopuses.  Often pink or purple, with rounded, cartoon like eyes and adorable smiles. We later discover that we have been duped, and these are not realistic representations of octopuses, not even close.

Let's now throw it back to my teenage years; before we had internet or cell phones, before selfies and social media.  Inspiration and beauty expectations were found in images in magazines.  As a tall, freckled, somewhat shy and awkward teen, I struggled immensely.  I could never get my skin or body to achieve a perfect match to the models and cover girls I desperately tried to emulate.  Turns out those models and cover girls  could not meet the impossible beauty standards promoted by the media and our society either. 

Fast forward to today.  As a 40-something woman, I still grapple with the image reflected in the mirror, and some days are better than others.  However, with age comes wisdom, and I have been noticing that the messages I receive are becoming increasingly dulled by time and experience. Yes, I want to look and feel my absolute best, but that will be acquired through living and maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle.  In direct opposition to the perfect contouring, and posing for selfies with just the right angle.

Currently, my 9 year old daughter loves to experiment with the filters on Messenger Kids.  These filters can be directly associated with the magazine images of my youth. She giggles and takes selfies as she transforms through many different versions of her actual appearance.  It has become a race against time to ensure that she understands her value and self worth does not rest upon her outward appearance.  We work to continually develop her self-confidence so that she too will come to the realization that she is enough, just as she is.